Moving Day

She was moving! Pico was so happy! She got the notification yesterday and she’s been packing up her ingredients ever since. Wow she had a lot of stuff! They told her that she wouldn’t need to recruit any friends to help her move, that they would take care of everything. What a load off, she thought as she taped up the last box, she had been packing for 6 hours now and needed a break. She sat on her couch and popped on the TV – her favorite soap opera As the Bowl Turns was on! She settled in to watch:

Tortillabelle is in the hospital bed awaiting a new heart, the constant blip of the machines fill the room. Con Queso sits by her bed anxiously worrying if his beloved Tortillabelle will get well. Suddenly the door to the room slams open and in storms LaGuac, Con Queso stands up shocked and La Guac goes over and slaps him across his cheesy face.

La Guac: You bastard!

Con Queso: Guac! What are you doing here?

La Guac: I could ask you the same thing?? Why are you with her? (sneers toward Tortillabelle)

Con Queso (stuttering) : She’s sick, I was called, I had to come down, I couldn’t let her wake up alone

La Guac cuts him off: Alone!?!?! I don’t care about her, what about me?!?! You left me alone, you thought you could make me love you and then disappear after one night of passion?? How DARE you?! (she slaps him again, cheese goes flying)


Con Queso quickly recovers and grabs her by the wrist: Do that again and I’ll knock the peppers out of you, I never said I loved you.

La Guac’s eyes fill with tears (green of course): *sniff* You USED me, how….could….you….

Con Queso looks away only to find that his precious Tortillabelle was awake and had witnessed his confrontation with La Guac….

Just then the machines beep loudly, going wild, a medical team rushes into the room and surrounds Tortillabelle, they try to save her but in the end she flatlines and the doctor calls the time of death, then he looks over accusingly at Con Queso

Doc: I’m afraid she’s gone, died of a broken heart

Con Queso drops to his cheesy knees: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Fade out)

Pico wipes her eyes and then here’s a knock on the door. She shuts of the TV and opens the door. She sees the movers on the street but the man infront of her wears a polo shirt with a company logo on the pocket. She looks at the logo more closely and a bad feeling twists her onions…..no….it couldn’t be.

“Hello, are you Pico de Gallo?” the man asks pulling out a clipboard. “I’m from Old El Paso, we’re hear to move you to your new home in a jar.”

Pico is terrified, Salsa in a JAR?!?!?! Who ever heard of such a thing? That would mean no more fresh taste, what would Chipotle say?? "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The man clears his throat “Uh mam, enough with the theatrics, do I have the right address? This is 777 Salsa Circle correct?”

Pico stands up tall and looks at him down her cilantro nose “There must be some mistake, I will not be jarred, I am Pico de Gallo! Best Served FRESH! Good day sir”

The man shrugs “Okay, whatever” looks back at his crew “Load’em up boys, we got another case of mistaken identity” and he walks away.

Pico closes the door, sighly loudly. “Thank GOD Chipotle doesn’t use salsa from a JAR! Only the best for Chipotle and that’s where I’ll stay!”