El B arrives in a foreign land, he makes his way through some local villages trying to figure out the best way to communicate his message…he updates his log every day.


Day 1: the locals are cautious of me, I am an outsider but I’m sure to win them over once I introduce them to the rich succulent flavor of marinated meat that is Chipotle. I’ve met with the Chief of the village but he has not been too hospitable. I gave him a small bowl or cilantro-lime rice which earned me my own hut, which is more than I thought I’d get. But I still get the feeling he doesn’t trust me.

Day 2: Man it’s hot here, sure it would help if I stopped putting so much hot sauce on my burritos but I can’t really eat them any other way….

Day 5: The village children were bold today, I was in the village center trying in vain to explain the goodness of Chipotle, showing the locals the shiny silver wrapping that came with each burrito. I think they were distracted by the shiny object more than the food….I had some chips and guac under my awning and a local boy known as “Chu” grabbed a handful of chips and ran back to his friends, they disappeared around a corner before I could see their reaction to the guacamole and chip combo. Tomorrow I will try to gauge their reaction, I will also stay in the shade…my sunburn itches…..

Day 20: Man do I miss home….there’s no internet access here and surely Chipotle has been posting new things to their Facebook page, mail is extremely slow here so hopefully I’ll get a letter from some friends of mine soon, I’m surprised I haven’t received anything so far, nothing from El Barbacoa or La Guac…..maybe they are just too busy to bother…

Day 33: SUCCESS!!!! I was woken in the middle of the night by Chu and his friends, though I don’t speak the language clearly I can understand more than I can communicate. Chu had come with his friends: Sualow and Eete. They said that since they had the chips and guac they’ve been able to think of little else but how they can enjoy these wonderful flavors again. Their families do not approve of taking food from an outsider but they will try to win them over on my behalf. Smiling we all shook hands and I gave them some Chips and Guac to take back with them. Maybe I really AM making a difference here…..

The great calling

After visiting Sister Marynade, renewing his friendship with El Barbacoa and earning the understanding and forgiveness from the people of Burrito Nation El B still felt like something was missing. He couldn’t quite put his tortilla finger on it but it nagged at him constantly. Maybe he just needed a break from all the promotions Chipotle was putting him in charge of since the “incident”, as the Qdoba scandal was being referred to by execs at Chipotle. He’d been working tirelessly at spreading the good word of Chipotle and their fresh ingredients to the farthest reaches of Burrito Nation, the work made him happy but wasn’t as satisfying as it once was.

He wasn’t getting any younger, he had to find what his true purpose in life was. Had he made a mistake thinking Chipotle would meet all of his needs? Who could top their seasoned meat and original flavor?? Though he strayed he knew better than anyone that there was no other place that came close to Chipotle’s one of a kind taste and their goodwill message only added to their attractive package.
Who wouldn’t want to support a company that is active in their community, has cultural sensitivity and has overall integrity when it comes to running a business? He was proud to be the voice of a company that has truly made a name for themselves….but what was missing??

Irritated he turned on the TV and began channel surfing. He flipped from channel to channel until something caught his eye. They were showing a place where people didn’t have the luxuries he and his friends took for granted, electricity, clean water and GASP NO CHIPOTLE! Could there still be such a place?? He continued watching and realized that this was a place far away, across the ocean from Burrito Nation, a forgotten place where people were left behind and neglected. El B could feel the pull on his meaty heartstrings when they showed a picture of a little girl eating rice from a clay bowl, she was squatting near a tent in rags. So many questions ran through his mind: Why was she in rags? Did she have some place to sleep tonight? (and most importantly) was that Cilantro-lime rice she eating??

He shot up from his chair and went to pack, throwing everything into his bags quickly. He called Chipotle and explained his new mission, they were onboard completely and booked him on the next flight. Then he jumped online and sent out a hasty email to his family and friends, he knew this wasn’t the right way to say goodbye but he could feel himself being pulled in a new exciting direction, he had to answer the call of the people far away. El B made sure all of his friends knew that they could reach him and that he was doing something that would make his life complete, they’d understand, he was sure of it.

He closed up his house, hopped in the waiting taxi and took a deep breath. It was time to make a real difference, he could DO this, he WOULD do this and he would love every minute of it!

Super Bowl

El B was disappointed that his team wasn’t in “the big game” or the burrito bol as El B referred to it. Even though the game was on, the thing that El B was really looking forward to catching up with the whole gang and enjoying a relaxing afternoon. Of course he couldn’t show up empty handed. Could he really bring chips and guac again? It seemed so cliché. He always brought the chips and guac. Did he need to change it up? Maybe some hummus and pita chips or a nice veggie tray would be a nice change of pace. Then he thought of his friends. A smile formed as he thought of his friends. Of course they would like the chips and guac. They loved Chipotle as much as him, and he knew that chips and guac always taste better with friends and a cerveza of course.

Order a burrito and some chips and guac today. They are super!

El B

Pico's News!

Little Pico couldn’t believe what she was seeing! She checked the little window again and exhaled loudly, so it was true. It’s not like she didn’t want this, she just didn’t expect it to happen so soon! She’d only been seeing Bell Pepper for a short time but they had decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it. Talk about speedy results!

Wow, this would mean so many changes for her! New clothes for her new body! She couldn’t wait to share the news with her family and friends, they would all be so excited for her! She felt a sense of accomplishment, all of her hard work paid off and she was ready to start this next chapter in her life, she was a Salsa with a plan and she planned to enjoy every moment of this new development!

She went online and sent out an invitation for that night at her favorite restaurant, Chipotle of course. This way she could tell everyone the good news at the same time! She spent the rest of the day primping and preparing for her big night, going over and over in her head on how she would share the news! Finally she was ready and went to Chipotle to face her friends and family.

Everyone was there! El B, La Guac, Tarroz, Rawbean and El Barbacoa, Con Queso, Tortillabelle, Pinto Bean and ColomBEANa and more! But best of all Bell Pepper was there. Bell had always been there for her and if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t be as happy as she was today! She could tell people were watching her expectantly, could they see a change in her body? Could they guess her news?!?!?!

She stood at the front of the table and clinked her glass, getting everyone’s attention.

“My friends and family, I am so pleased you could all make it tonight. As many of you know…” she started waving Bell forward to stand with her “Bell and I have been working hard to get to this point” she giggled and the crowd laughed along “and I’m happy to say we have finally gotten what we asked for!” she beamed proudly and took Bell’s hand. “I couldn’t be happier than I am right now!”

Everyone clapped and Tarroz yelled out “Congratulations! You will make wonderful parents!” and the clapping grew louder.

“Yes, you don’t even look pregnant!” La Guac joined in smiling.

(sound of a car breaking)

“What!” Pico asked in total shock and everyone went silent. “WHAT?!?!” Pico repeated and Bell put a restraining hand on her onion shoulder. “PREGNANT? You think I’m pregnant?!?!”

“Well what’s with the buildup then if you aren’t preggers Pico?” Barbacoa asked cautiously.

Then Pico started laughing, she dropped to the floor laughing and after five minutes of uncontrollable giggles she got back to her feet and explained. “You silly goofs! Bell is my TRAINER, I checked my scale this morning and I’ve finally reached my GOAL WEIGHT and wanted to celebrate the news with all of you! ”

Confused looks were exchanged so Pico continued “Why would I invited you to Chipotle! All these healthy menu options and fresh ingredients, if it wasn’t for Chipotle I would’ve fallen off my diet long ago! Is ANYONE happy for me???” she asked looking around the room.

Bell started clapping and slowly everyone else joined in until he applause was deafening, Pico began smiling once again. “Thank goodness! I’ve worked so hard to accomplish this goal and am grateful my friends and family support me. Thank you all!” and she sat down and dug into her third burrito, little did she know she’d be celebrating another milestone soon because Little Pico was eating for two……

IMAGINE

Con Queso woke up and went about his daily routine, a cold shower (as to not melt his cheese), iced coffee (same issue), grabbed his morning newspaper and was out the door on his way to work. He walked his usual route to work nodding at people as he went. He was surprised to see a lot of people holding Qdoba bags or Taco Del Mar bags, after all this WAS burrito nation and Chipotle was the supreme place for a burrito.

He shook his head in confusion and stopped short at the end of the corner, looking at where his favorite Chipotle was normally located. In its place was a (GASP!) TACO BELL?? WTF???
Con Queso turned around, looking up and down the street, hoping he had just taken a shortcut and not remembered it but no, this was the corner of Spicy Street and Chips Road.
“What in the world is going on?” he asked himself earning stares from those walking by. He continued walking wondering how a Taco Bell had taken over so quickly, their burritos weren’t even that good!

He crossed the street and walked towards his building. There was a line of people blocking the sidewalk and he had to walk in the street to get by. These people were very excited, he could pick up phrases in their conversation like “best burrito ever!” and “wouldn’t go anywhere else!” Then he realized he was close to another Chipotle, his mouth watered but he didn’t want to be late for work. But why were people lined up, he stopped and asked someone in line “Excuse me, I know Chipotle’s food is incredible but why the line?”
The Kidney bean just looked at him and answered “Chipo-who?”
“Chipotle! You know, only the freshest ingredients!” Con Queso laughed, he’d never run into someone who didn’t know what Chipotle was, this morning was shaping up to be strange indeed.
The kidney Bean just shook his head and pointed at the store “We’re in line because QDoba is running a ‘buy 1 burrito get 1 free sale’ and there’s limited supply. No one was going to miss out on the world’s best burritos right?”
Con Queso staggered back in shock, “QDOBA?? What happened to the Chipotle that was here, I just had lunch here yesterday?!?!”
Now the Kidney Bean just looked scared “Umm..listen man you okay? Maybe you should sit down”
But Con Queso’s mind was reeling, he suddenly had a horrible thought and began running down the street, he ran 8 blocks and took a right. When he stumbled around the corner his cheese drained of color. There, where the newest Chipotle location should have been there was a TACO DEL MAR.

“NOOOOOOOOO! Where is Chipotle!?!?!” he yelled as he dropped to his cheesy knees. A mother nearby, scooped up her kids and hurried away frightened, but Con Queso took no notice. He was suddenly frantic to find a Chipotle, ANY Chipotle he could. He took out his iphone and noticed his Chipotle locater app was missing from his main screen, how could that be?!?! That was the first app he installed when he got the phone so that he could always find a Chipotle no matter where he was! He dialed 411 and waited, when the operator came on the line he yelled “Chipotle! Any city, anywhere!”
“Excuse me sir, calm down, could you spell that for me” the irritated operator asked.
“C-H-I-P-O-T-L-E” he spelled out as slow as he could, fighting the rising panic that threatened to consume him.
“I’m sorry sir, we have no listings for a Chee-pot-lee in our database in your location or any surrounding locations”
“It’s CHIP-O-TLE! And that’s impossible!” Con Queso screamed into the phone
“I’m sorry sir, do you have another listing you’d like me to look up?” she asked impatiently

Con Queso hung up the phone and quickly dialed the one person that would tell him this was all a bad dream. His friend picked up and he practically died with relief “Hello, El B?”
“Yes, this is El Burrito, who is this?”
CQ: “Con Queso, didn’t I come up on your caller ID?”
EL B: “No, this is a private line. Who is this?”
CQ: “Please man, stop playing around, my day has gone from bad to worse and I need you to tell me this is all just a bad dream”
El B: “Listen, I don’t know anyone names Con Queso, I am a very busy man trying to run a company, I don’t have time for prank calls”
“wait!” Con Queso yelled before El B could hang up “What is the name of your company?” he asked knowing for sure it should be Chipotle.
El B cleared his throat “You call the CEO of QDOBA and you don’t know who you are talking to??? GOOD DAY!” and he hung up.

That was the last straw, Con Queso threw his phone and fell to the ground groaning. “This can’t be happening! This can’t be true!”
Passersby simply stared, a few had called the authorities and were waiting for someone to pick this crazy person up and get him some help. Con Queso was in the fetal position, rocking back in forth when they found him muttering “Chipotle – chipotle – chipotle” The men in the white coats just shook their heads and put on the straight jacket. (which wasn’t easy, cheese can be sticky) Then they loaded him up in their padded van and took him away.
Con Queso woke up in a padded room, where was he? Then he remembered the world without Chipotle and he screamed in agony “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Con Queso woke up in his bed, sweat and melted cheese all over the place. Was it all a dream?!?!! He picked up his iphone from the nightstand and saw it: his Chipotle locater app. He called up the app and went through about 50 Chipotle locations until he was somewhat satisfied and then called up El B to be sure. El B picked up on the first ring.
El B: “Hey CQ, what’s up?”
Con Queso signed in relief “Man you don’t know how nice it is that you know who I am”
El B was confused “Uh…okay, so since it’s Saturday we’re all meeting at Chipotle downtown, you in?”
A huge cheesy smile spread across his face and he answered “Of course I’m in, I’m in 100%, see you soon”