IMAGINE

Con Queso woke up and went about his daily routine, a cold shower (as to not melt his cheese), iced coffee (same issue), grabbed his morning newspaper and was out the door on his way to work. He walked his usual route to work nodding at people as he went. He was surprised to see a lot of people holding Qdoba bags or Taco Del Mar bags, after all this WAS burrito nation and Chipotle was the supreme place for a burrito.

He shook his head in confusion and stopped short at the end of the corner, looking at where his favorite Chipotle was normally located. In its place was a (GASP!) TACO BELL?? WTF???
Con Queso turned around, looking up and down the street, hoping he had just taken a shortcut and not remembered it but no, this was the corner of Spicy Street and Chips Road.
“What in the world is going on?” he asked himself earning stares from those walking by. He continued walking wondering how a Taco Bell had taken over so quickly, their burritos weren’t even that good!

He crossed the street and walked towards his building. There was a line of people blocking the sidewalk and he had to walk in the street to get by. These people were very excited, he could pick up phrases in their conversation like “best burrito ever!” and “wouldn’t go anywhere else!” Then he realized he was close to another Chipotle, his mouth watered but he didn’t want to be late for work. But why were people lined up, he stopped and asked someone in line “Excuse me, I know Chipotle’s food is incredible but why the line?”
The Kidney bean just looked at him and answered “Chipo-who?”
“Chipotle! You know, only the freshest ingredients!” Con Queso laughed, he’d never run into someone who didn’t know what Chipotle was, this morning was shaping up to be strange indeed.
The kidney Bean just shook his head and pointed at the store “We’re in line because QDoba is running a ‘buy 1 burrito get 1 free sale’ and there’s limited supply. No one was going to miss out on the world’s best burritos right?”
Con Queso staggered back in shock, “QDOBA?? What happened to the Chipotle that was here, I just had lunch here yesterday?!?!”
Now the Kidney Bean just looked scared “Umm..listen man you okay? Maybe you should sit down”
But Con Queso’s mind was reeling, he suddenly had a horrible thought and began running down the street, he ran 8 blocks and took a right. When he stumbled around the corner his cheese drained of color. There, where the newest Chipotle location should have been there was a TACO DEL MAR.

“NOOOOOOOOO! Where is Chipotle!?!?!” he yelled as he dropped to his cheesy knees. A mother nearby, scooped up her kids and hurried away frightened, but Con Queso took no notice. He was suddenly frantic to find a Chipotle, ANY Chipotle he could. He took out his iphone and noticed his Chipotle locater app was missing from his main screen, how could that be?!?! That was the first app he installed when he got the phone so that he could always find a Chipotle no matter where he was! He dialed 411 and waited, when the operator came on the line he yelled “Chipotle! Any city, anywhere!”
“Excuse me sir, calm down, could you spell that for me” the irritated operator asked.
“C-H-I-P-O-T-L-E” he spelled out as slow as he could, fighting the rising panic that threatened to consume him.
“I’m sorry sir, we have no listings for a Chee-pot-lee in our database in your location or any surrounding locations”
“It’s CHIP-O-TLE! And that’s impossible!” Con Queso screamed into the phone
“I’m sorry sir, do you have another listing you’d like me to look up?” she asked impatiently

Con Queso hung up the phone and quickly dialed the one person that would tell him this was all a bad dream. His friend picked up and he practically died with relief “Hello, El B?”
“Yes, this is El Burrito, who is this?”
CQ: “Con Queso, didn’t I come up on your caller ID?”
EL B: “No, this is a private line. Who is this?”
CQ: “Please man, stop playing around, my day has gone from bad to worse and I need you to tell me this is all just a bad dream”
El B: “Listen, I don’t know anyone names Con Queso, I am a very busy man trying to run a company, I don’t have time for prank calls”
“wait!” Con Queso yelled before El B could hang up “What is the name of your company?” he asked knowing for sure it should be Chipotle.
El B cleared his throat “You call the CEO of QDOBA and you don’t know who you are talking to??? GOOD DAY!” and he hung up.

That was the last straw, Con Queso threw his phone and fell to the ground groaning. “This can’t be happening! This can’t be true!”
Passersby simply stared, a few had called the authorities and were waiting for someone to pick this crazy person up and get him some help. Con Queso was in the fetal position, rocking back in forth when they found him muttering “Chipotle – chipotle – chipotle” The men in the white coats just shook their heads and put on the straight jacket. (which wasn’t easy, cheese can be sticky) Then they loaded him up in their padded van and took him away.
Con Queso woke up in a padded room, where was he? Then he remembered the world without Chipotle and he screamed in agony “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Con Queso woke up in his bed, sweat and melted cheese all over the place. Was it all a dream?!?!! He picked up his iphone from the nightstand and saw it: his Chipotle locater app. He called up the app and went through about 50 Chipotle locations until he was somewhat satisfied and then called up El B to be sure. El B picked up on the first ring.
El B: “Hey CQ, what’s up?”
Con Queso signed in relief “Man you don’t know how nice it is that you know who I am”
El B was confused “Uh…okay, so since it’s Saturday we’re all meeting at Chipotle downtown, you in?”
A huge cheesy smile spread across his face and he answered “Of course I’m in, I’m in 100%, see you soon”